Bipolar Insanity
by Kari of Suna
Summary: When me and my friends kidnap some of our favorite Sohmas, what will happen? FANGIRLS,INSANITY,TORTURE, and RANDOMNESS WILL ENSUE! Rated T for mild cursing, minor adult themes, and most of all VIOLENCE! YAY VIOLENCE!


**Bipolar Insanity**

Written by _Hidden But Seen, i-luv-the-cat-sohma52, chickentyrant52_, _Kari of Suna_, and _Ray the Dragon Otaku_

Chapter 1: The Madness Begins

A girl dressed in a dark blue renaissance dress stepped forward. She had dark auburn hair and stormy eyes that rivaled the skies themselves in intensity.

"Hello, everyone! Before we can begin, I must tell you that this story occurs before Tohru meets the Sohmas; therefore they have not formed any attachment to her. Further more, I would like to announce that we are not responsible for any and all negative effects of the making of this story. Now, we can begin-oh, wait, just so you know, I'm Hidden But Seen, an 18 yr. old. I am the kind, courteous and sane member of this group. I am terrified of blood, and burst in to tears if I see someone in pain." Hidden announced loudly.

A girl with dark brown hair in 2 spiky pigtails went next. She had dark brown eyes, and was wearing a tight long sleeved belly shirt with the belly covered with fishnet, finger less black gloves, black fishnet tights, black knee high boots, and a blood red just above the knee skirt and hair ties. 2 small, sharp fangs peeked out over her lips. Her ears also came to a tapered point.

"Hi! My name's Kari: Queen of Hell. I am 15 years old, and I am the characters' PERSONAL TORTURER. I am psychotic, chaotic, and hyper. I am the bad half of the being Kaze no Kari-and this is my good half!" Kari Q. pointed to another girl who looked like her. They could have been twins if the wore the same stuff. This girl was wearing a white with black short sleeves belly shirt with a panda on it, a black just above the knee skirt, black knee high boots, black and white hairs ties, and finger less black gloves.

"Hi! I'm Kari Teh Panda, and I am also 15! I am a rehabilitator for the characters. I can join with Kari Q. into one being, but it's easier if we're separate. I am kind, protective of my friends, nice and hyper! Now, let's meet-"

She was interrupted by another girl, with black-streaked silver hair. Her eyes were violet, and she was wearing a red short tunic with slits till her waist and orange leggings with knee high black boots.

"I'll introduce myself, Panda!" She yelled.

"Calm down, Devil." A girl with the same face came over. Her hair was the color of polished gold with ivory streaks. Her eyes were a cool brown, and her outfit consisted of a sun-patterned kimono top and black leggings with white heels.

"I'm White-Winged Angel, and I'm the good half of a girl called Wing-Wing." She explained.

The silver-headed girl said, "I'm Dark-Winged Devil. I'm also a torturer, and Kari Q.'s partner in crime. White- wing and I are both 15 and my job is to be simply, completely, and utterly...EVIL! Muhahaha!"

White-Wing said, "I'm a rehabilitator, and it's my job to counteract the effects of Dark-Wing. I'm also in charge of the Happy Room."

"I'm one of the heads for rehabilitation, because I'm one of the few that isn't bipolar or insane. And I am nice." A halo appeared over Hidden's head. "Now, I am going to kidnap the Sohmas chosen for...treatment. Kari Q. will finish up with an explanation of the plan."

"I will read you the memo!" Kari Q. said.

1).Kidnap the characters.

2).Lock them in Hidden's room (it's the only one with a lock on the outside --')

3).Torture them till their minds break.

4).Rehabilitate them so they love us!

Dark-Wing said, "White-Wing is in the Happy Room. I will begin with the torture of Akito. That's right, I will destroy Akito's mind."

"I will kidnap my love, Hatori." Hidden said.

"Don't forget Kyo and Haru!" the Kari's added.

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In a dark room, Akito awakened. Before he could take in his surroundings, the door opened. He could see the silhouettes of two girls, one with black wings. The girl without the wings said, "You will be coming with us, Akito-san." Akito was knocked out.

He awoke in another room, where everything was gray. Dark-Wing and Kari Q. stood in front of her.

"Akito? Come out, please?" Dark -Wing made a very cute face.

"Never, you-you-you-" Akito started to curse loudly. "How dare you interfere with my discipline!"

"Your what?" Dark-Wing asked.

"My discipline! I was punishing the monster and Hatori!"

Unbeknownst to Akito, Dark-Wing and Kari Q. were glowing red and trembling with rage upon hearing Kyo called a "monster". But Akito just rambled on.

"First, I was going to blind them. Then, I was going to take the monster's beads and smash them to traumatize him. Then I was going to whip them."

"Shut up! I love Kyo, and no one will hurt him but me! Oh and Kari Q. too. You will be punished!" Dark-Wing hoisted up a large spear.

"Why are you so mean?" Akito started crying and sniffling.

"You wimp! You have no right to call yourself evil. You're a wimpy-hey, is that a purse?"

"...maybe..." Akito said.

"It's pink! It's fluffy! It's...feminine!"

"Yeah...well...I like bunnies! Er...you didn't hear that!" Akito stuttered.

"You're a woman! But that alters my entire evil plot!"

"It's my mommy's fault! She took my Barney tapes! And my collection of pink doilies!"

"Okay then...now, you will wear this badly-fitting lime green jumpsuit with orange polka-dots!" Dark-Wing said with a smile.

"Nooo! The orange! It BURNS!"

"You dare insult the great Kyo?" Dark-Wing started beating Akito up.

"My turn!" Kari Q. stepped onto the scene. She began slashing Akito in uncomfortable places with an… intricate knife. "Interesting...your blood is purple…. and tastes like grapes!"

Akito screamed incoherently.

"What was that? You want to die? Well, TOO BAD!" She beat Akito to a bloodier pulp. "That's what you get for even _touching_ Kyo-kun. Now it's time to go to your new cell! Dark!"

"Yes?"

"Take Akito to 'The Room!'"

"Of course!" Dark-Wing cackled evilly. Kari Q. did so as well.

Dark-Wing led Akito down a doll-lined hallway.

"So, Akito...can you keep a secret?"

"Okay..." Akito cowered.

"I found your doilies, and locked 'em up where that mean Kari Q. couldn't get them!"

"Gasp! You're on my side!"

"Wanna be bestest best friends forever?"

"Yay! I've got friends! I can be a normal person!"

"Here we are! Doily heaven!"

Akito rushed into the room and began dancing about.

"Oh, doilies, how I've missed you! Bob, Jenny, Carroll, and May...I love all four hundred of you, never fear!"

"This is too happy for my liking." Dark-Wing tossed a match onto a pile of doilies casually.

Akito screamed in horror.

"Did I mention the gallon of gasoline I scattered earlier? And the fact that your jumpsuit is flammable?"

"Are you on crack? We're all going to die!" Akito shrieked.

At this, Dark-Wing laughed wildly and began to dance in the hottest flames.

"I'm, too evil to be burned, too evil to be burned, to evil to be burned..." She sang to the tune of "I'm Too Sexy,". There was a maniacal gleam in her eyes.

Akito shivered. "I'm afraid of fire!"

"PYROMANIA ROCKS! PYROPHOBES MUST DIE!" Dark-Wing screamed.

Kari Q. came in. "YAY! Warmth!" She ran into the hottest flames. "Man, this house is cold! Have they ever heard of a 'thermostat'? Fire is so nice and warm!" She rubbed her hands together and put them in the flames.

Akito was terrified. "You're all insane! You're-AAAIIIIIIEEEE! I'M BURNING! MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" Akito twisted in agony before collapsing in a fiery heap.

Kari Q. smiled. "Did you hear something, Devil?

"No."

"Oh."

"So...let's drop her off at the holding cell and pick up our next victim."

"Hatori , right?"

"We'd better start the brainwashing techniques as well. Good thing I saved those Barney tapes."

"Hey Dark-Wing… Akito smells like steak."

"Steak, huh? Y'know, if I had some BBQ sauce..."

"I've got some. Are we going to eat her?"

"Let's feed her to the others! That would be...interesting...and traumatizing...could they even tell the difference?"

"Let Hidden feed them. She's been feeling guilty."

"Won't this make her feel more guilty if she finds out?"

"She won't find out. Akito smells like steak! We could always lie."

"Haru won't eat cow...maybe tofu or soybean steak?"

"Kangaroo. Hidden said it tasted like steak."

"Just so you know, the Barney tapes are enchanted. They appear as anime to everyone but the victims."

"Sweet. Let's go get Hatori."

"To the room of defying the laws of physics!"

"WEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Kari Q. went back to the dark room, picked up Hatori and ran off. "It's your turn now." She cackled.

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Reviews make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside! Flames will be used to keep the freaking house warm...

Hidden: Hey! My house is fine!

Kari: Its cold! Just because you are wearing a heavy dress doesn't mean the rest of use are!

Hidden: pouts a grumbles about smart aleck pandas

Plz review!


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